Beautiful, smart and single

I picked this pART out of a chat with a really beautiful woman recently re: life, love, work etc… I wish she knew just how beautiful she is. I hesitated before sending this out, didn’t want to hang out her under-where on the interweb… so I changed her name to Beautiful Woman (she really is). I also have the undercover hope that this could inspire some other single beautiful women to lighten up and stop carrying around that ‘I‘m so complicated men won‘t be able to strip the layers’ or is it ‘I‘m so smart, they just won’t get me.’ No ma’am, you’re just scared of getting hurt. Put that heavy ish down! *Taking my own advice…*

MissGods: Are you happy, generally?
Beautiful Woman: Not really I wish I could start dating again [I sense a bit of winter-chill creeping in here]. It seems like guys are too scared to be with a techno chick like me
Missgods: Is that what they tell you?
Beautiful Woman: Yes
MissGods: “Uuu baby I’m scared of you!”
Beautiful Woman: Plus most never want to see me after the first date. I even want to switch careers. I feel like I’m in a man’s world.
MissGods: What are you looking for in a guy?
Beautiful Woman: [Someone] honest, respectful and trustworthy. I no longer care about looks and money.
MissGods: So you’re willing to be with an honest and respectful man who doesn’t look that hot and can’t take you out on a date? Just asking.
[dramatic silence]
MissGods: Well?
Beautiful Woman: Well he mustn’t be too poor [Ahaaaa!]. We won’t compliment each other.
MissGods: So why are you settling for less? I’m willing to bet that those guys you went on a date with weren’t even worth your time. They realise they need to step up their game to be with you. Nothing wrong with that at all. It just means you need to aim higher. Your guy is patiently waiting for you while you sift through the bottom of the pile. Just sayin’.
Beautiful Woman: Yeah. That’s true. Someone once gave me that advice. Maybe I should aim higher.
MissGods: Maybe it’s not those guys who are scared of you. Maybe it’s you who’s scared of what you could become – an extremely irresistible woman who deserves to be treated like a queen (financially, emotionally and otherwise).
I once sent out the message to the universe saying I’d like an honest man who respects me…. and I got him. A very honest, respectful simple guy; who also doesn’t drive, lives at home with his mom… building his non-profit start-up… mostly broke. I had to temporarily let go of the spontaneous gifts, the special dates, the passenger-status, the long phone calls etc…. which I happen to like, a lot.
Beautiful Woman: So you sent out a message on FB [The digirati generation]
MissGods: No. I met him at a workshop. But I prayed for this type of guy. He came in the package I asked for at the time — simple, honest, humble and respectful man. After a month of no special dates, no wonderful surprises, no long phone calls… and no emotional availability — he was always hustling and stressed about money. I had to sadly let him go. Broke up with him.
Beautiful Woman: That’s my problem. Most likeable guys are broke. [Sisterly sigh]
MissGods: I realised that even though he had those beautiful qualities, I really wanted to also have a man that makes me go weak at the knees because he’s good-looking, one who is able to also spontaneously take us on a drive- a weekend away when I need it most etc. Why can’t we be honest with ourselves about what we want?
Send it out… and open yourself up to receive. Importantly, not meeting the right guy now doesn’t mean you have to search frantically. It means that you need to focus your search within.
Beautiful Woman: Yes. I totally agree.
MissGods: So, in the meantime, take yourself out to the theatre, do something/go somewhere you’ve never done/never been before at least every month; bond with some friends you’ve lost touch with; go out shopping or to a beauty treatment with some crazy girlfriends… give your wardrobe a facelift; spend some time with your mom; go to the gym or go to yoga or belly dance class (highly recommended).
Beautiful Woman: I have to go now. Good night.
MissGods: Good night.

MissGods is Nonkululeko Godana