The saddest thing about Senzo Meyiwa's passing
I write this as a mother and a half-sister to two siblings who never got to attend our father’s funeral.
To me the saddest thing about Senzo Meyiwa death story is the fact that his 10-month old daughter, Thingo will never know her father. I make this assumption after reading the news report that her pop singer mother, Kelly Khumalo will not be allowed to attend Senzo Meyiwa’s funeral and is not allowed at his home.
Outside of wedlock, a child’s mother is usually their only passage to a relationship with their father.
The Meyiwa family reportedly knows of her and accepted her as Senzo’s daughter. However with Kelly unable / not allowed to attend the funeral or visit the Meyiwa home, what will happen to Thingo and Thingo's relationship with her father’s family? Who will perform necessary traditional rituals for her, when necessary?
This is why this part of the story is so close to my heart: After my father’s death, I discovered two half-siblings I didn't know of before. How I discovered these siblings was not as important as the fact that I felt I was responsible for their knowledge of who their father was and sharing any memories of him that I had.
When I first met my half-sister, she told me that she was distraught at the fact that she never attended his funeral and that she never got to meet or get to know him. While she knew that he was her father at the time of his death, his family (myself included) didn't know of her and her mother. I suppose for that reason, the mother deemed it unfit for her and my half-sister to be at the funeral.
My acceptance of my half-siblings and the fact that their mothers made it possible for them to have a channel to me and my father’s side of the family is a great thing from them. I believe that it helps for them to have that link and it will make even more of an impact when they get older and more conscious of tradition and lineage. I certainly hope the same for Thingo one day.
I refuse to cast blame on anyone. This is not a time to blame or accuse or even mar anyone’s image. This is a time for mourning.
In times of trial, society seems to fail to acknowledge the biggest victims / sufferers - the children. Spare a thought for Thingo, as well as Mandisa Mkhize and Senzo’s two young daughters. Strength to them as they grow up without their father.
RIP Senzo Meyiwa
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| Pic from True Love Magazine cover |
Outside of wedlock, a child’s mother is usually their only passage to a relationship with their father.
The Meyiwa family reportedly knows of her and accepted her as Senzo’s daughter. However with Kelly unable / not allowed to attend the funeral or visit the Meyiwa home, what will happen to Thingo and Thingo's relationship with her father’s family? Who will perform necessary traditional rituals for her, when necessary?
This is why this part of the story is so close to my heart: After my father’s death, I discovered two half-siblings I didn't know of before. How I discovered these siblings was not as important as the fact that I felt I was responsible for their knowledge of who their father was and sharing any memories of him that I had.
When I first met my half-sister, she told me that she was distraught at the fact that she never attended his funeral and that she never got to meet or get to know him. While she knew that he was her father at the time of his death, his family (myself included) didn't know of her and her mother. I suppose for that reason, the mother deemed it unfit for her and my half-sister to be at the funeral.
My acceptance of my half-siblings and the fact that their mothers made it possible for them to have a channel to me and my father’s side of the family is a great thing from them. I believe that it helps for them to have that link and it will make even more of an impact when they get older and more conscious of tradition and lineage. I certainly hope the same for Thingo one day.
I refuse to cast blame on anyone. This is not a time to blame or accuse or even mar anyone’s image. This is a time for mourning.
In times of trial, society seems to fail to acknowledge the biggest victims / sufferers - the children. Spare a thought for Thingo, as well as Mandisa Mkhize and Senzo’s two young daughters. Strength to them as they grow up without their father.
RIP Senzo Meyiwa
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